{"id":1785,"date":"2025-07-31T13:00:52","date_gmt":"2025-07-31T13:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/?p=1785"},"modified":"2025-07-31T14:58:42","modified_gmt":"2025-07-31T14:58:42","slug":"catch-flights-not-feelings-how-a-solo-trip-healed-my-broken-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/2025\/07\/31\/catch-flights-not-feelings-how-a-solo-trip-healed-my-broken-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"Catch Flights, Not Feelings: How A Solo Trip Healed My Broken Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"

Refinery29 is proud to partner with Verizon, the company that offers its TravelPass Perk<\/a> \u2014 available with any myPlan Unlimited plan<\/a>* \u2014 as the cost-effective choice for seamless connectivity. For $10 a month, you get three TravelPass days (saving $26\/month). A TravelPass day includes unlimited data**, talk, and text in 210+ countries and destinations. In this personal essay, as told to Andrea Cheng, Tiff Baira, a 28-year-old New York-based dating coach, matchmaker, and newly single girl, opens up about the lessons she learned from solo traveling post-breakup \u2014 and the importance of staying connected, thanks to Verizon.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The night I met my ex<\/h2>\n

I was out dancing with my friends in the East Village, and he was on the dance floor with an espresso martini. Immediately, I was like, \u201cThat\u2019s my husband.\u201d Our connection was instant. Everyone else went home after, but we went to this tragic diner and ordered the most diabolical (and in my opinion, the most romantic) meal \u2014 spaghetti and pancakes \u2014 and talked until 8 a.m.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We started spending every day together. He wasn\u2019t just my partner \u2014 he was my best friend. What I loved the most about us was that we never met a stranger, we never saw a plan that we said no to. We had so much fun.<\/p>\n

But there was a bit of an age gap: When we met, he was 25 and I was 27, and toward the end \u2014 about a year and a half later \u2014 as things were getting more serious (talks of the future: moving in, starting a family), it started getting rough. You can have a beautiful relationship, but the infrastructure isn\u2019t right. We had love for each other, but the reality and the logistics of love didn\u2019t work.<\/p>\n

There were signs: My body broke out in hives (I call it \u201cthe breakup hives\u201d \u2014 when your body tells you you\u2019re no longer happy in a relationship). He Venmo requested me on my birthday for my birthday meal. <\/em>There were moments throughout the relationship where I felt, Oh wow I wish it was like this <\/em>or I wish it was something.<\/em> It got to a point where it was so clear that we were no longer in alignment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The breakup<\/h2>\n

We ended things on Valentine\u2019s Day, which was horrific because that\u2019s like my Super Bowl. I\u2019m a big gift-giver, so I got him a watch, and he didn\u2019t get me anything other than grocery store flowers. That was when I knew: I deserve better than this.\u00a0<\/p>\n

A lot of the time, the fear of being alone makes you feel like there\u2019s no one else out there. I still have so much love for my ex, but I also know I want more; I deserve more. I like saying, \u201cbeing delulu is the solulu,\u201d because we have to stop apologizing for the things we want and calling it unrealistic. Settling for someone will ultimately make you unhappy.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The truth is: I lost all my confidence in that relationship; I lost a sense of myself. But it\u2019s hard<\/em> to walk away from a relationship, whether they were the nastiest person or the nicest, whether it\u2019s a two-week fling or a 12-year relationship. It\u2019s one of the bravest things you can do.\u00a0<\/p>\n

After my ex and I broke up, we went no contact. In the beginning, I spent so many nights crying, but the biggest flex is to not care and move on. I embarked on a wellness, heartbreak-healing journey: I did pilates, I adopted clean eating habits, I went sober for 60 days (because I didn\u2019t want to drunk call him). It was hard, because you crave that person, like a sweet treat after a long day.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I started to solo travel<\/h2>\n

Travel was a big part of our love language. Since the breakup, I\u2019ve solo traveled to every city we shared love in: Los Angeles (the city where we fell in love), Miami, and the Hamptons. I\u2019ve gone to every city where we had romantic moments and reclaimed them for myself. These trips allowed me to feel everything \u2014 the joy of still standing, the freedom of knowing that I didn\u2019t settle, the proof that a breakup can hurt you but not break you.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But solo traveling overseas \u2014 my 10-day trip to France, four months post-breakup \u2014 was the one that healed me. I wanted to step away from work, to take the time to reflect, to take a break from being outward-oriented, and to water my creative self. But I have to admit: I was a little scared.<\/p>\n

There was one night in Paris where I went to eat at Soho House, but there were so many hot people and they were all going to a party afterwards. At first, I wanted to hide in my room and order room service, but I told myself, \u201cYou deserve to be seen.\u201d So, I ate my dinner and went to that party alone. I know a little French, and I told this girl that I loved her earrings \u2014 and we started talking non-stop. She and her friends invited me out and we ended up at a club. It was an amazing night \u2014 one that I was able to share on social as it was happening, and then retell it over and over again to my family and friends over FaceTime the next day. <\/p>\n

I may have been rediscovering my independence, but I was still connected. I was free, but never lost. On this trip, I realized how much love was waiting for me at home, and I was able to stay in touch with them every day through Verizon\u2019s TravelPass Perk<\/a>, this too-good-to-be-true $10-per-month deal that gives me three days of unlimited calls, text, and data internationally each month. I added the perk to my myPlan Unlimited mobile plan <\/a>four months before my trip, which resulted in over $80 in savings and an accrued total of 12 TravelPass Perk days to use in France. And so, I may have been alone, but I was never lonely. <\/p>\n

Learning to be single again<\/h2>\n

No matter how confident you are, when you\u2019re thrown back into the streets of singleness, you\u2019re going to think, Am I hot enough? Am I cool enough? <\/em>I also wrote a book \u2014 Modern Dating for Dummies<\/em><\/a> \u2014 and I felt this weird internal shame. How am I going through a breakup when I\u2019m supposed to be the expert? But this trip made me come to the conclusion that it\u2019s not hard to get into a relationship \u2014 the hardest thing is to fight for what you want.\u00a0<\/p>\n

As a child of divorce, I love helping others find love, but I\u2019m guarded when it comes to myself. My ex made me realize that I do deserve love. I know I want someone who loves to go out and have fun \u2014 but who will also be there through major life events. Someone who will go all out on Valentine\u2019s Day. I want someone who loves my soul, who loves my heart. <\/p>\n

I know I\u2019m going to have my love story one day, but I\u2019m not going to wait around in my apartment. I\u2019m going to make that dream happen by catching flights \u2014 not feelings.<\/p>\n

Solo traveling restored my faith in myself<\/h2>\n

When you\u2019re in a relationship, you can\u2019t let them be the source of your validation. You have to remind yourself that you<\/em> are that baddie. It\u2019s hot and rebellious and cool and romantic <\/em>to solo travel. There\u2019s so much world<\/em> out there, so many people<\/em> out there. You get to see new cultures, have new experiences \u2014 and you learn things about yourself. The worst thing you can do for your confidence is tell yourself that you need to hide because you don\u2019t have a guy. Going to a restaurant alone can be scary because you feel like everyone\u2019s looking \u2014 but nobody cares. And if they do, so what? It\u2019s all about perspective. When people stare at me, I think, They must think I\u2019m the hottest<\/em>. I\u2019m always in sequins and crazy outfits, and in France, people did stare, and rightfully so. I\u2019m a lot to look at. But the major takeaway is to not let insecure thoughts prevent you from having the best trip of your life.<\/p>\n

I realized that I\u2019m stronger than I thought, that I love how open I am, that I\u2019m going to be okay.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t rush finding the one who\u2019s truly right for you. And on the flip side, you can\u2019t wait to live your life until you meet that person. So I always say: Don\u2019t wait to have your dream partner to have your dream trip. This is your one life. Take that trip.<\/p>\n

*The <\/em>TravelPass Perk<\/em><\/a> is available to anyone on a qualifying <\/em>myPlan Unlimited<\/em><\/a> plan with Verizon. With myPlan, you can choose to add the TravelPass perk for just $10\/mo. (a $26\/mo. savings) and start accruing 3 TravelPass days per month. TravelPass days are good for 12 months, which means you can accrue up to 36 days to use however you like for unlimited talk, text, and data** in 210+ countries and destinations. <\/em><\/p>\n

** After 5GB of high speed data, get unlimited data at 3G speeds for the remainder of the TravelPass session.<\/em><\/p>\n

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Refinery29 is proud to partner with Verizon, the company that offers its TravelPass Perk \u2014 available with any myPlan Unlimited plan* \u2014 as the cost-effective choice for seamless connectivity. For $10 a month, you get three TravelPass days (saving $26\/month). A TravelPass day includes unlimited data**, talk, and text in 210+ countries and destinations. In…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1785"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1786,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785\/revisions\/1786"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}