{"id":3996,"date":"2025-12-17T23:52:28","date_gmt":"2025-12-18T00:52:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/?p=3996"},"modified":"2025-12-18T14:58:27","modified_gmt":"2025-12-18T14:58:27","slug":"you-didnt-have-to-be-in-bondi-for-it-to-hurt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/2025\/12\/17\/you-didnt-have-to-be-in-bondi-for-it-to-hurt\/","title":{"rendered":"You Didn\u2019t Have To Be In Bondi For It To Hurt"},"content":{"rendered":"

Content warning: This article discusses violence in a way that may be distressing to some readers<\/em>. It was original published on Refinery29\u2019s Australia edition.<\/em><\/p>\n

On the first night of Hanukkah<\/a>, beneath the quintessential glow of a Sydney summer evening, globally beloved and iconic Bondi Beach<\/a> turned from a scene of joy to one of terror. Families and friends had gathered for a festive beachfront celebration, lighting the menorah and singing songs, when gunfire shattered the laughter. Two gunmen, a father and son<\/a> armed with rifles, opened fire on the crowd, killing at least 15 people (including a child) and injuring dozens more. One attacker was shot dead by police, and the other was wounded and arrested amid the chaos. Australian authorities swiftly declared it a terrorist attack motivated by antisemitic hatred, an assault on the Jewish community that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has said \u201cstruck at the heart of the nation\u201d. What should have been a night of light and hope became Australia\u2019s worst mass shooting in nearly 30 years.<\/p>\n

The next morning, Bondi\u2019s sands lay empty and silent, an unheard-of phenomenon for one of the most popular shorelines in the country, save for investigators pacing the cordoned-off area. Since then, the stories and the heroism of bystanders who tried to stop the shooters have dominated headlines. Yet the impact of this attack cannot be measured only in lives lost or injuries. Its shockwaves have rippled far beyond those who stood on the sand that night; the tragedy<\/a> has seared itself into the psyche of people around the world, including many who were nowhere near Bondi Beach when it happened.<\/p>\n

Beyond The Shore<\/h2>\n

Not even in the hours after the attack, but during, phones pinged with news alerts across Australia and overseas. Many who read the headlines or watched grainy and graphic videos felt a chill of grief and fear. It didn\u2019t matter that they were seeing it through a screen; their hearts broke, and their fear was felt in real time. In Sydney, thousands gathered at vigils the next day, mourners at Bondi laid flowers and sang prayers under the open sky. Similar tributes appeared in other cities, in Melbourne, in London outside the Australian High Commission, and beyond \u2014 a sign that the world was mourning with Bondi. <\/p>\n

\u201cCollective trauma can impact how we view the world and how we see ourselves in it \u2014 the social norms and security we were used to are challenged, making us feel unsafe and unsure, and grieving the world we understood,\u201d explains Mental Health Therapist Tammi Miller<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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These are valid feelings \u2014 the goalposts of our beliefs have been moved, and we\u2019re trying to redefine what they are. With a big event like the Bondi attack, we\u2019re also being fed new information over hours and days, meaning those goalposts continue to shift. It\u2019s a lot of work mentally, and we can feel exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious.<\/p>\n

tammi miller, Mental Health Therapist<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n

According to Principal Psychologist at Umeed Psychology, Anushka Phal<\/a>, this reaction is a form of collective trauma or vicarious trauma. \u201cHumans don\u2019t exist in isolation; we\u2019re part of communities,\u201d Phal describes this as identity-based trauma: \u201cFor people with histories of trauma, chronic stress, racism, gender-based violence, or migration stress, the nervous system is already primed to ask: Am I safe? Am I next? The body doesn\u2019t treat it as \u2018news\u2019 \u2014 it treats it as confirmation.\u201d She adds: \u201cEven secondhand exposure can activate the threat system \u2014 particularly in a 24\/7 media environment. The nervous system doesn\u2019t respond to logic; it responds to danger cues, which can show up as hypervigilance, irritability, flatness, grief, and even physical symptoms.\u201d<\/p>\n

Decades of research on vicarious traumatization show that people can develop stress symptoms from simply hearing about or seeing footage of violent events. Our brains, in a sense, replay the horror as if we were there. One study<\/a> even found that individuals with no prior trauma who watched distressing news reports showed symptoms of secondary traumatic stress, such as anxiety, nightmares, and feelings of helplessness. In the case of the Bondi attack, it brutally resonated far and wide \u2013 from the Jewish community in Sydney to anyone who has ever set foot on Bondi.<\/p>\n

As Rachel Tomlinson<\/a>, a Sydney-based therapist (and one of many professionals volunteering at community support sessions this week), points out: \u201cTrauma is processed through the nervous system first, not the thinking brain. That\u2019s why people feel sick, shaky, or disconnected \u2014 the body is responding to a perceived threat even before we can name the emotion.\u201d<\/p>\n

She continues, \u201cEven indirect exposure \u2014 like media \u2014 can activate this system. Freeze or dissociation responses are just as real as panic. You might feel emotionally flat, stuck, or spaced out. It\u2019s a survival response, not weakness.\u201d<\/p>\n

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA \u2013 DECEMBER 15: Candles are lit at the Bondi Pavilion as people pay tribute to the victims of a mass shooting at Bondi Beach yesterday, on December 15, 2025. Police say at least 16 people, including one suspected gunman, were killed and more than 40 others injured when two attackers opened fire near a Hanukkah celebration at the world-famous Bondi Beach, in what authorities have declared a terrorist incident. (Photo by Izhar Khan\/Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Coping With The Invisible Wounds<\/h2>\n

1. Mental health experts emphasize that your feelings are valid.<\/strong> Even if you were not physically present. There\u2019s no need to say, \u201cI wasn\u2019t there, so I shouldn\u2019t be this upset.\u201d Grief, anger, fear, outrage, and numbness, all of these are natural responses. \u201cGive yourself permission to feel whatever comes,\u201d advises Anushka Phal. \u201cDon\u2019t bottle it up just because you weren\u2019t at the scene. You\u2019re human, and at our core, humans care about each other.\u201d Acknowledging the pain is a first step to healing. That might mean talking to friends or family about how the news affected you, or writing down your thoughts in a journal. Some find comfort in attending vigils or religious services to honor the victims, as coming together in solidarity can ease the sense of powerlessness. Others might light a candle at home or say a prayer as a personal act of remembrance. <\/p>\n

2. Limiting media exposure<\/strong> is another important coping strategy. While it\u2019s natural to seek information after a traumatic event, endlessly scrolling through graphic images or videos can retraumatize you. \u201cBeing unable to control when or what imagery you see following an event like the Bondi attack can make it difficult to self-regulate,\u201d says Miller. \u201cRepeated exposure can trigger a stress response \u2014 difficulty sleeping, irritability, trouble concentrating. It\u2019s important to remember that you are safe in these moments, to look around you and name three things you can see, touch, feel, practise deep breathing and centering, and definitely to seek support from a confidant or trained mental health professional.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Connecting with others is crucial in these times.<\/strong> The Bondi Beach community has exemplified this \u2013 within 24 hours, thousands of people gathered to comfort one another, sing together, and remind themselves that they are not alone. Whether you attend a local vigil or simply call a friend to talk, sharing your feelings can lighten the emotional load. Sometimes just hearing someone say \u201cI feel it too\u201d can be profoundly validating. If your distress persists or feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapists are aware that indirect trauma is real and can help you work through it. There is no shame in seeking help; it doesn\u2019t matter that \u201cit didn\u2019t happen to me,\u201d what matters is that it affected you, and getting support is a sign of strength, not weakness.<\/p>\n

4. Finally, it can be healing to channel your emotions into positive action. <\/strong>Donate to a victims fund. Support crisis lines like Lifeline, which are seeing a huge surge in calls and will continue to through the holidays. Volunteer your time if you have capacity \u2014 or if you don\u2019t, drop off a meal, check in on a friend, walk someone home. Acts of care don\u2019t need to be big to matter. They just need to happen.<\/p>\n

Finding Light After The Darkness<\/h2>\n

In the days since the attack, the golden sands of Bondi have been blanketed with flowers, candles, and handwritten messages. Strangers hug each other on the promenade, united in grief. The air carries the mingled scents of saltwater and candle wax as the sun sets each evening over a beach that is healing from trauma seen and unseen. The emotional wounds from that night will take time to mend, and some scars may never fully fade. But amid the sorrow, there is a steadfast resolve that the forces of hatred will not break the spirit of the community. <\/p>\n

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You don\u2019t have to be at the centre of an event to be affected by it. Being human, compassionate and empathic means being impacted by violence and loss, especially when it hits close to home or touches your identity. Minimizing your pain only prolongs it. <\/p>\n

RACHEL TOMLINSON, REGISTERED PSYCHOLOGIST<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n

For anyone struggling with heavy emotions after this tragedy, know that you are entitled to those feelings, they speak to your empathy, and that with time and support, the fear and anguish can evolve into strength and meaning. <\/p>\n

Further Support<\/h2>\n

Mental Health Support (NSW):
<\/strong>\u2013 Walk-in help available daily at Intercontinental Coogee (8am \u2013 8pm).
\u2013 Safe Haven at Sydney Children\u2019s Hospital for young people (10am \u2013 7:30pm).
\u2013 NSW clinicians are also on the ground at Bondi and Coogee; look for bright vests.<\/p>\n

Helplines:<\/strong>
\u2013 Lifeline:<\/a> 13 11 14
\u2013 NSW Mental Health Line:<\/a> 1800 011 511
\u2013 Beyond Blue: <\/a>1300 22 4636
\u2013 Kids Helpline:<\/a> 1800 55 1800<\/p>\n

Find A Psychologist:
<\/strong>\u2013 Tala Thrive<\/a>: A directory that helps you find culturally responsive and trauma-informed therapists across Australia.
\u2013 Australian Psychological Society<\/a>: The largest peak professional body for psychologists and psychology in Australia.\u00a0
\u2013 Check with your GP:<\/span> Many psychologists can only be accessed with a mental health care plan referral, which allows you to claim Medicare rebates.
\u2013 University Clinics:<\/span> If cost is a barrier, psychology clinics at universities often offer low-fee sessions with provisional psychologists under supervision. <\/p>\n

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?<\/strong><\/p>\n

How To Help In Wake Of Bondi Beach Terror Attack<\/a><\/p>\n

Managing Mental Health Between Therapist Visits<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Content warning: This article discusses violence in a way that may be distressing to some readers. It was original published on Refinery29\u2019s Australia edition. On the first night of Hanukkah, beneath the quintessential glow of a Sydney summer evening, globally beloved and iconic Bondi Beach turned from a scene of joy to one of terror….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3998,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3996"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3996"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3999,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3996\/revisions\/3999"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/baldheadedgirls.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}